The old-school mentality of “toughing it out” in the face of stress is a dangerous and outdated approach that is contributing to the burnout crisis among children. A clinical psychologist’s emphasis on empathy and support directly challenges this harmful myth, advocating for a more compassionate and effective way to build true resilience.
The “tough it out” approach teaches children to suppress their feelings and ignore their body’s warning signs of exhaustion. This is the exact opposite of the self-awareness needed to prevent burnout. Clinical psychologist Meghna Kanwat’s advice to validate a child’s experience is a direct antidote to this, teaching them that their struggles are real and deserve attention.
This harmful mentality can also damage the parent-child relationship. When a child reaches out for help and is told to just “suck it up,” it shuts down communication and makes them feel isolated. This erodes the very connection that Kanwat identifies as a critical “buffer” against stress.
True resilience is not about enduring hardship without complaint; it’s about having the awareness to recognize when you need help and the strength to ask for it. It’s about developing healthy coping skills, not just gritting your teeth.
Parents can debunk this myth by creating a home where vulnerability is seen as a strength. By responding to their child’s struggles with compassion and actively helping them find solutions—like adjusting their schedule or learning relaxation techniques—they are teaching a much healthier and more sustainable model of resilience.